


Sometimes Words Aren't the Right Words to Say

by mistynights



Category: The Gardener's Hand - Felicia Davin
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Multi, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 05:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19222831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistynights/pseuds/mistynights
Summary: For the longest of times, things aren’t easy for Alizhan, Ev and Thiyo. Luckily, they can all count on the other two being there for them.





	Sometimes Words Aren't the Right Words to Say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [schneefink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneefink/gifts).



> Long title from Words by Passenger   
> I had so many ideas for this fic and I didn't have the time to do them all. So I had to pick what I think fits best with your prompt. I really hope I chose right. I'd also only read like half the first book when I got your prompt, so I had to binge read the rest. Worth it. This is an amazing series and I'm glad I found an excuse to finish it.  
> Anyways, I hope you like what I wrote for you. And I really really hope this is close to what you imagined.

For the longest of times, Alizhan has to remind herself that everything is over. She wakes up early, before the shift change bells, before Thiyo and Ev. She wakes up and looks at the room’s ceiling, trying to remember that being in a room in Varenx house doesn’t mean Iriyat is somehow back.

They chose this room for themselves sometime after moving into Varenx house for good, when the city was rebuilt, when things started to make sense again. It wasn’t their first option. Thiyo first proposed using Alizhan’s old room, but it soon became too much for her. Their new room is better, makes Alizhan feel a bit safer.

Still, sometimes Alizhan opens her eyes only to be met with the feeling of being back in the past. This room might not be the same as the one she used to sleep in, but it’s similar enough.

When it happens, Alizhan has to bury her face against the back of Ev’s head, careful not to wake her up, to remember everything that’s happened. There’s something deeply comforting, familiar even, about waking from a restless sleep and turning to see Ev’s figure next to her. And Thiyo’s, when he’s feeling clingy and steals Ev’s spot in the middle of their bed.

Their bed. It still makes Alizhan’s stomach tingle in a nice way, thinking about the three of them and their new life together. It’s the one nice thing that came from Iriyat’s plotting.

It’s very rare for Alizhan to talk about what’s on her mind when it comes to the past. Not even with Ev and Thiyo. She normally likes talking to them, but this is different.

And it’s funny, because even though Alizhan is the one who can see other people’s thoughts, Ev and Thiyo always seem to know what she’s going through. They rarely talk about it either, unless Alizhan’s the one to mention it first, but they are always _there,_ always ready to give her a hand or kiss her cheeks or distract her with the children who now come and go from the house.

***

For the longest of times, Thiyo dreams of words that become an ocean in which he drowns. He opens his eyes afterwards and looks for Ev, who sometimes is still in bed and sometimes is outside in the garden. He looks for her and tries not to overthink his dreams, knowing they are nothing but. But in these times, he can hardly get himself to speak, too afraid she won’t understand what he says.

Ev has learnt to feel when he feels like this, and sits with him for hours, tells him stories of great adventures. She’s good at that, at grounding him in the present with her words, at reminding him that all that happened is in the past.

He doesn’t go to Alizhan very often when this happens. It’s funny because he knows she would be able to understand him because of her power, just like she had back in Adappyr. Maybe that’s just the reason. Knowing she could understand him no matter what does not reassure Thiyo.

But he does go to her afterwards, when things have calmed down, when _he_ has calmed down. Alizhan always has a smile for him, a hug and a soft hand on his hair. She also has stories, different to Ev’s, tales of what she sees in people’s minds, of what she sees in the streets of Laalvur.

Sometimes, when it’s too bad, he leaves the house on his own and takes a walk through the city. He walks through the market and just listens. He never expected to enjoy listening to the chats and banters of the people around him, never expected snatches of conversations could make him feel so good.

After he returns home Alizhan hugs him hard, shows him some new fabric she’s found in an abandoned room, tells him bad jokes the children have been telling during his absence. Ev, always more reserved than Alizhan when outside of their bedroom, smiles at him, takes him to the gardens to see some new plant that has been growing.

They don’t talk about it, not really. They all know what’s happening, or at least Thiyo supposes they all do. They talked, back when they first moved into Varenx house, maybe once or twice, and then never more. But that’s fine, because they don’t need to talk to be there for him, and that’s really all Thiyo needs.

***

For the longest of times, Ev wakes up with the feeling that something is missing. Not something physical, not quite, more like something deep inside of her. It’s like being with Iriyat all over again, except then she could blame it on her injuries. She often wakes up to Alizhan’s body pressing against her back and Thiyo’s arms tangled around her. It’s always warm, with the two of them around her, and that warmth has come to mean safety in Ev’s mind.

But that safety also means that her thoughts can wander freely through her mind, through her fears. She tries to keep her mind in check, not because she’s afraid Alizhan will see her thoughts —not after all this time—, but because trying to figure out if she has indeed lost something hurts. It really does.

Keeping her mind in check is draining, though. And in times like this, Ev can’t do much but lie in bed afterwards.

During school triads, Thiyo covers for her. He’s learnt to take a look at her and know if she’s been too into her own mind. When that happens, he gives her a kiss on the forehead and promises to be back soon. Alizhan stays with her until Thiyo returns, leaves only to cancel her own classes or sneak bowls of fruit for them to share.

During triads when they don’t expect children to show up, Alizhan tries to cover Ev’s whole body with her own in a warm hug while Thiyo combs his hair through her hair. It always manages to get a smile out of Ev, and they all know a smile is the first step towards feeling better.

Ev doesn’t like talking about it afterwards. It’s too painful. It’s a reminder of everything that happened, as well as everything that _could have_ happened. And the what-ifs in her mind are always too much. It’s good she doesn’t have to talk about it. They know when to be by her side, how to help her.

***

For the first time in weeks, Thiyo wakes in the middle of both Alizhan and Ev, who are smiling at each other. He can barely see them in the dark room, but he’s learnt to feel when they smile. Call it another power, if you will.

“It’s too early for this cheeriness,” he mutters, tries to turn to keep sleeping only for Ev to make him turn again. It will always surprise him how easily she can move him around when she decides to. Not that moving Thiyo is hard or anything, but still.

“We’ve been waiting for you to wake up,” Alizhan whispers, moving closer to him, “you can’t just go back to sleep.”

He feels Ev chuckle next to him and nuzzle the side of his head. It’s a common thing for her to do that, has been for some time now, but it still makes Thiyo’s heart skip a beat or two.

“Ket wrote us a letter,” Ev says. “Alizhan got it when she woke up. He and Henny are planning on coming for a few months.”

Thiyo understands now their smiles. It’s been years since Ket and Henny left for Nalitzva, years since they’ve seen each other. It’ll be good to talk to them face to face again.

“Also,” Alizhan adds, still whispering, “I was thinking, maybe we could leave Kasrik in charge of the house for some weeks sometime soon.”

“Oh?” Thiyo trusts Kasrik, he does, but the conversation feels rather unexpected.

“Well, it’s been years since we went further than Adappyr,” Alizhan goes on,” and I was thinking, I never got to meet your mom. And you miss Hoi, I’m sure, and maybe you’d want to go back for a bit and, you know. I just thought it’d be nice.”

Thiyo takes a moment to register Alizhan’s words. She still rambles as much as when they were younger. An endearing habit, in his opinion.

“You want us to go to Hoi?” She nods and Thiyo turns to look at Ev, who nods as well. They’ve talked about this, no doubt. He’s surprised they didn’t breach the topic sooner.

He closes his eyes. He would like to see his home, no doubt. It’s been too long. Maybe getting Alizhan and Ev into the island won’t be the easiest feat, but he’s sure they’ll manage. And he’s not going to lie, the idea of seeing his mother again and Halelitha are rather compelling.

“It’s not a bad idea,” he says finally, and smiles at Alizhan’s delighted look. Ev laughs too and presses a kiss on his shoulder.

Things have changed, he thinks, in the years since they met. The three of them are the biggest proof of this. It’s been some time since any of them was overwhelmed by their memories, years since any of them truly felt like the past was about to catch up them.

And they’ll keep changing, Thiyo’s sure of that. Hopefully for the better, though only time will tell. But, if there’s one sure thing, as long as the three of them are together, he knows they’ll be able to get through whatever the future might bring.


End file.
